One of my biggest passions in life has always been photography. For a while I was very limited to small digital cameras and even film cameras you send off and develop. But one Christmas it turned out my family had gotten me my first camera.
It is a Nikon D60 that came with two lenses. I am not going to lie, I had no idea what I was doing when I first picked up that DLSR camera and started snapping photos. I didn’t know about shutter speeds or even how to take a good photo. I was using flash which I have learnt can sometimes blow out the photo.
However I was ready to start learning and I learnt by doing.
L E A R N I N G C U R V E
My first couple of photos that I took was of course during Christmas, and a family event on Boxing day eve. Once again as I said I used flash and therefor while I thought they looked good, Looking back on them I can see just how bad they are. And then I became the weirdo on a night out with the unnecessarily large camera. It came with me to a friends joint birthday and just anywhere.
Shortly after a evening out. Someone made a comment to me that I am always taking photos and I shouldn’t and if I am brutally honest, it knocked my confidence and love for the art of taking pictures, I then resorted to just doing it inside my home and with my cats, to much of their dislike.
However, I got pregnant, Not the plan of course but life happens and sadly the camera took a knock to the side and I never really picked it up again, not like I did before, I of course took photos occasionally but we all know how tired mums can be. And I also felt frustrated with the two lenses I had, this is when I learnt about shutter speeds and different lenses.
Unfortunately brand new lenses are hecking expensive and I didn’t have a big enough income being the stay at home parent but this of course didn’t stop me from learning new tricks with the ones I had and I was extremely lucky that my Uncle loaned me some of his macro lenses which I have made good use of since he handed them over.
But there was one lens I wanted, I had it in my amazon basket for the longest time. The amazing 50mm lens! I had no idea why I wanted it but I did and one Christmas my mum got it for me and it hasn’t come off my camera since. From that point I got the love of photography back, I had of course gained some of it due to blogging and having to take product photos for brands but this lens sparked something inside me that made me want to change my life.
I learnt more about exposure, how to properly angle and handle the camera when taking photos, I read so many tips and tricks on photography, and at the time I wasn’t in the best place mentally due to a break up of a relationship, it gave me something to do when I was on my own.
T H E F U T U R E
I am on universal credit, I have been unemployed for a total of 11 years now due to raising my children, I made that choice and I do not regret a single second of it. However it has sadly made me extremely unemployable. My first two job coaches at the UC weren’t helpful. They wanted me to get some sort of part time job without even thinking about the children and how it needs to be around them. Someone even tried to pawn me off to a course which the person who I ended up talking to told me I need to go back to college as he felt ‘he couldnt help with any working from home jobs’. and another course about being ‘positive’ that the person said she could work out our personalities depending on what Quality Street we liked. I cannot tell you just how disheartening it felt.
Then one day I got a new coach who asked me what I enjoy doing, I obviously said photography and she said I should try freelance. It would work around my children and I can work when I want. I dont even know why I didn’t think of it in the first place, She set me some tasks to do which I am working my way through, I have created a page on my blog and I am also going to set up a instagram and twitter to get my name out there.
I suddenly feel like I have a purpose again and not just for being a mummy, I am so grateful for my work coach for her support and understanding, and I truly hope I can work towards that goal…
I just hope I am good enough.
If you would like to see more of my photography then check out my portfolio. It is a work in progress at the moment but check back to see some updates.